ATTENTION: Before you read any further, please note that I am not a trained relationship therapist, I am not a love guru, nor do I have the most perfect relationship in the entire world.
Up until about nine months ago, I was your average 21-year-old female who was convinced she was never getting married or would never find love. I failed miserably during my first three years of college in the love category. My heart was broken, I may have broken a heart or two- it was simply a mess! Well, much to my surprise, the impossible happened! I had a major crush on one of Susquehanna’s track stars, and with a little confidence (and a two and a half week service trip to New Orleans), I was able to get to know my crush and have him fall madly in love with me- muahahahah my plan worked! YOU’RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME BABE, RIGHT?!?!?! (he loves and always reads my blogs, so hi babe!)
If you could not tell, I was being completely sarcastic with my all-caps shout out to my boyfriend. I will admit, our relationship can get a little love sappy at times, BUT we do take our relationship very seriously. Why wouldn’t we? We are both seniors in college and it is obvious we aren’t just messing around- the relationship means a lot to us. And just because we take it seriously does not mean we can’t have fun or are not fun individuals. The two of us are SO fun, mainly my boyfriend though, he truly is the bees knees!
So basically, it breaks my heart a little when people claim “relationships in college simply cannot work.” Why not? Who made this a fact? Because it certainly is not true. For specific couples and people, yes, it may not work, but I think it is because they are doing it wrong. SO, that being said, I have some tips on how to make your college relationship the bomb and totally worth it!
First thing: COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!!! And I do not mean on that nice iPhone 5c you have. Communicate in person- sit down for lunch, have a dinner date once a week, or discuss your entire day before bed (you know, if you and your significant other are on the level of sleeping with each other at night.) If you are constantly texting during the day, while you should be in class taking notes, what will you talk about later? It makes me sick when I see couples constantly texting throughout the day, especially at a small school like mine when most couples will see each other every hour in between class. My boyfriend and I rarely text during the day. If I have something to tell him that can’t wait, I’ll shoot him a text but I cherish our time together at night when we talk about whatever happened that day. This really makes our relationship stronger, and the bonding time is amazing!
Communication is also important when it comes to fighting or problems. What people need to understand, is that EVERY.SINGLE.COUPLE fights. No relationship is perfect- that is the straight up truth. Fighting is definitely healthy, if you take the right approach to it. Communicate to your significant other if something is bothering you. Sitting down and talking through problems is a great thing to do. Yes, some problems can be way more severe than others, but every issue should be discussed. I am speaking to the girls mainly here: do not bottle up your emotions or feelings! If your man does something that pisses you off (has to be reasonable) let him know! Do not throw it over your shoulder! Trust me, because down the line you will blow up something small and bring up a list of things that bother you. That is not good. Also, fighting should be done on your own time. This is YOUR relationship, do not let the outside world be involved with it. Do you want to be like celebrity couples whose little fights are broadcasted everywhere? Nope. No one wants that! So, close the door, lock it, and settle your issues one on one with your partner! Communication is key, so bend your partner’s ear as much as you want!! 🙂
Trust coincides with communication. You need both for a solid relationship. Every person that enters your life is different. Just because an old love broke your heart terribly does not mean every new person you meet will do the same. If I thought my boyfriend was going to be like every other jerk I had been with in the past, we simply would not be dating. The past may hurt sometimes, but forget about it. Someone chose to be with YOU out of a large pool of people, be grateful for that and trust them 100%! This leads into my final tip, which is to just be yourself.
My boyfriend actually came up with this tip. I mentioned the blog to him and when I asked him why he thought our relationship worked so well, he said “you just gotta be yourself.” Such a smart kid he is, isn’t he? He could not be more correct!!!! BE YOURSELF! Act a little crazy around him/her, show your weird side, let them know the real you! I remember the first time I made my first “ugly face” in front of my boyfriend, he simply laughed then made an even uglier face back at me (it really is true love.) Show all of your sides to him/her. Love your partner unconditionally, be weird when times are tense to cause laughter, and most importantly, open up to him/her and let him/her inside your life.
Like I said earlier, I am not an expert on this topic, but my relationship has been pretty successful. It is truly amazing to be able to find someone you can call yours. I would never take my boyfriend for granted, he really does mean the world to me. We are not perfect, no one is, but I do think that we are living proof that college relationships can work, and can work extremely well!!!! Of course it is tough at times, but hey life is tough, WEAR A HELMET!!!!!!!!! 🙂 That being said, I hope people take my tips to heart and consider following my relationship advice!